A Little Less "Hippie", a Little More Hip-Bone
Okay yes it’s true! Me and Mary Kate have been tapped to be the new face of Calvin Klein, quit hounding us! Of course MK isn’t as stoked as I am about the whole thing, as you can see by this ultra-candid paparazzi shot. Apparently she takes issue with the fact I told some paparazzi where we would be to sign the contract. But in my defense I figured this was the best way to avoid having someone hit our car. I do not want to almost die like Lohan or SJo; I’m not going out like Princess Di I tell you!
Calvie – that’s what I call him now – insists we drop about 30 pounds between the two us because when he says we’re the new “face” of CK he means it. JUST the face. Nothing disgusting like body fat to get in the way of our skull and bone structure. I don’t really mind avoiding carbs, fats and proteins for a few weeks but me and MK refuse to stop drinking! What’s a little liver-bloat among friends right?! Airbrush it Calvie, what do you think that was invented for?
Apparently Ashley’s a little pissed about how much time me and MK are spending now that we’re model-buddies, but I told her not to despair. So to make up for all the times I had to cancel our weekly coffee-and-colonic dates we spent last night together. Just the two of us. And some people on a red carpet.
Bitch is always trying to out trout-pout me. I sure showed her, I injected blow-fish venom into my lips just before we headed out. Boy did she look stupid.