Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Turns out, violence is the answer.

I don't understand celebrities.

I just don't. That's probably why I blog about them, it's a feeble attempt to understand why THEY ARE SO GODDAMN FUCKED IN THE HEAD. Example:

(Socialite's Life)

Cameron Diaz has apparently decided to follow in the footsteps of Drew Barrymore and Bennifer 2.0 and jump on the "Let's take pictures of the stalkerazzi taking pictures of us to show how fed up we are because we're artists who make an amazing contribution to society and no one respects our privacy" bandwagon.

However, I don't understand. Quite frankly, seeing as the paparazzi are willing to chase celebrities around to the point of getting into car accidents, I don't think they give a shit if you take their picture. Whatever happened to the good old days of Björk and Michael Hutchence, when they just punched the paparozzo in the goddamn face? Made a lot more sense to me. Because y'see, if some weirdo was following me around with a camera, my automatic response would be to liquify them or feed them to my pet shark. But that's another matter.

I know this is some sort of ill-advised type of celebrity non-violent protest. I know a celebrity throwing a temper tantrum is worth more tabloid money than a woman finding an image of Jesus in her fried chicken, but they're still going to take your picture. And inevitably, the picture will be sold to Star, where some story along the lines of "Cameron dumps Justin for new camera shaped dildo!" will be attatched to it anyway.

When I see these pictures, I still see good ol' Justin-banging, poor-fashion-choice-making, abhorrent-movie-making, pretty much talentless Cameron Diaz. And I'm still going to make fun of her. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have read through your blogs the last few months, and I find it amazing people only repond when you have a HOT guy or some "celebrity" half nude posted. Your blogs are great without a famous person half nude or hearing about their sad and pathetic life

7:56 PM  
Blogger bagel said...

Violence isn't necessarily the answer, but sometimes is can be the solution!

PS - you'd think with $20 million per movie she could afford a dermatologist and course of roaccutane.

2:02 AM  
Blogger swirlogirl said...

true that!

10:49 PM  

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