Too MuchMusic

Through a method unbeknownst to me and my roomates, we've somehow gotten cable recently. This is the first time I've had a cable in a really, really long time, thus this is the first time I've seen MuchMusic and MuchMoreMusic in a really long time. I've watched a little bit of the channels since getting them (never for too long; I don't want to melt my brain) and I can say that I think I've figured out their system:

The Videos:
When they actually do play videos, they have to contain at least two of the following:
-Ass
-Tits
-Bad fashion (almost always represented in the form of Fergie)
-A car
-A bunch of boys with hair that's supposed to look modern and yet retro 1987 at the same time, wearing those goddamn studded belts and bracelets
-A bunch of boys with shaggy hair, wearing jeans and t-shirts that's supposed to look modern and yet retro 1977 at the same time
-More ass (almost always represented in the form of Mariah Carey)

As for MuchMoreMusic, which is supposed to be the more "mature" MuchMusic, they pretty much just play a bunch of shows recycled from VH1, shows about how Beyonce was "Born to Be" a pop star or Britney was "Driven" to be Hollywood trailor trash-- I mean, Hollywood talent, reality shows about celebrities or trashy shows about the Fabulous Life of Tom Cruise or celebrities' most embarassing moments.

Did I mention it was supposed to be for a more mature audience?

Did I also mention that the last video I saw on MuchMoreMusic was the Pussycat Dolls' "Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Had Herpes--" Oh sorry, I mean "Don't Cha Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me?"

For an older audience, indeed.