Touched by an Uncle

So wrong.

SO VERY VERY WRONG.

As if the psuedo-incentuous lesbianism wasn't enough from the Olsen twins, they had to bring in UNCLE JESSE.

*falls onto the floor in the fetal position*

Beauty and Scandal, Thy Name is Brangelina

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/47622004.htm

So, the big rumour is that Angelina is preggers with Brad's child.

I don't know if it's true or not, but the possibility that it may be is enough to keep me up at night.

I like Angelina. And I don't have any major problems with Mr. Pitt, but if these two reproduce, it's probably going to be THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILD EVER. And I'm not talking pretty beautiful, I'm talking super beautiful, as if an alien race were to create a perfect looking creature for us to worship. And I fear that it will be SO beautiful that it will somehow manage to take over the world with it's excessive beauty, which is what I plan on doing with my life, so this kid better back off. And besides, we don't need anymore excessively sexy people. We've already got Angelina, Johnny Depp, Flesh and Me. That's all we need, quite frankly.

Then again, wouldn't it be funny if it came out looking like Billy Bob Thorton?



Tee hee.

The plot thickens

[15:33] flesh: did you read about Katie Holmes on Socialite's Life?
[15:34] rock snob: No!
[15:34] rock snob: What do I need to read!
[15:34] flesh: Its fucking CREEEPY
[15:34] flesh: Its the very top story on the site
[15:34] rock snob: I read about how she wants to take an 18 month break to "Focus on her relationship"
[15:34] rock snob: ...which is just weird
[15:35] flesh: She went missing for 16 days
[15:35] rock snob: Whaaaaaaa?
[15:36] flesh: Its creeeeeeeeeepy
[15:36] rock snob: Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
[15:36] flesh: I KNOW
[15:36] rock snob: I KNEW IT ALL ALONG
[15:37] rock snob: HE'S EVIL
[15:37] rock snob: HE IS THE DEVIL
[15:37] rock snob: SOMEBODY STOP HIM NOW
[15:37] flesh: He kidnapped JOEY POTTER
[15:38] rock snob: I'm scared, Flesh
[15:39] flesh: No, I'm worried he'll hunt me down to de-ghey me and in 16 days I'll be marrying him or something
[15:40] rock snob: Ah!
[15:40] rock snob: Don't do it, man
[15:40] rock snob: PLEASE DON'T DO IT
[15:40] flesh: I'll try not to, but if the rock is big enough...
[15:40] rock snob: Sorry, I misread "rock" at first

Life imitates art?

To you, TomKat, I only have this to say:



I give it a month before Katie gets disturbed by the freaky fish fetish and says "Come on JubJub, let's go home."

Poses gone wild - caught on film!

Jessica Simpson does her best T-Rex impression.

Someone give these people a medal

I just want everyone to know, if I ever get arrested in my life, I certainly hope it's for spraying Tom Cruise in the face with water from a phoney microphone.

GOLD

See the video here

Coke and Sympathy

L. Lo Denies Eating Disorder Rumours

That's great, I'm happy that your emaciated self can deny anorexia, but dear, we're not accusing you of being anorexic.

We're accusing you of being coke-arexic.

Get it right, druggie. Jesus.

GET THESE KIDS OFF DRUGS NOW.

Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes at the very phallic Eiffel Tower

...No comment.