Sweet, sweet Jihad baby

Who's to blame for the failure of the Mariah Carey vehicle, Glitter?

Al Qaeda, of course!

“I released it around September 11, 2001,” the singer told Swiss newspaper Sonntags Zeitung as translated on fan site MariahDaily. “The talk shows needed something to distract from 9/11. I became a punching bag. I was so successful that they tore me down because my album was at number 2 instead of number 1. The media was laughing at me and attacked me.” Additionally, Mariah also said that the movie was just too cutting-edge for it’s own good. “‘Glitter’ was ahead of its time,” she explained. “Today it’s ‘in’ to make 80’s music.”

I hope Osama's in a cave somewhere plotting the demise of Britney's career next.

This just in: I'm the only sane one on the planet. Deal with it, bitches.

Elaine: "If there's one thing I'll never understand, it's people."
Jerry: "They're the worst."

To: The dude at Pizza Pizza
cc: The dude who walked by me in the food court

Everyone stares. Everyone sees another person of whom they find attractive, or repulsive or interesting to look at, or whom looks like someone they know and thus, they stare. But we do it CONSPICUOUSLY. We don't stare right at them, while they can clearly see us staring, making them completely uncomfortable. It makes me feel like Lohan and the stalkerazzi. Soon, I'll be getting into car accidents and I'll have to make the obligatory tasteless reference to me being like Princess Di.

Look, I've made an art form out of staring in such a way that the person I'm staring at is unaware that I'm staring at them. And if you get caught, you don't continue staring, you look away quickly, or stare off over their shoulder, pretending you weren't staring at them at all. I feel like this stuff is common sense. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you people? Were you in a cave watching Star Trek the day God threw down social skills? Or am I just the only sane person on this planet?

Probably the latter.

Please; take this letter seriously and make some adjustments to your staring practices.

Madonna vs. Mariah: Cage Fight to the Death!

[00:37] rock snob: Who do you think would win in a fight, Mariah or Madonna?
[00:37] Flesh: Madonna, she does yoga
[00:38] rock snob: Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Madonna
[00:38] rock snob: But something tells me that Mariah would fight dirty
[00:38] Flesh: Mariah wold totally fight dirty, she'd be all "I have big bosoms, and you're bi."
[00:38] Flesh: And madonna would be like "Do you want to make out sometime?"
[00:39] Flesh: And mariah would kick butt

A ditzy blond. And Paris Hilton.

So, the story was that Nick Carter beat Paris while they were together. But quite frankly, if I were dating Paris Hilton, I'd probably beat her, too.